The Taco Bell Incident by Dave Thompson A few weeks ago Debbie had a kennel club meeting and announced I was on my own for dinner. WHHHOOO HOOOOO!!!!! Taco Bell gorge time baby!! So it’s Thursday night, the Lakers are playing, and I've donned my well stretched warmups, with plans of making the drawstring pop!! All three dogs were loose and pretty quiet, so I had my Grilled Stuffed Burrito and Crunchy Taco and was settled in the Lazy-Boy ready for tip-off!!! I started with the burrito and noticed that little %^$%$ Jagger about three feet away, just out of reach and right in visual line of the tube. “^&%$!! Jagger (his registered house name), get outta here!!” I made the usual sudden lunge at him a couple of times to make him leaveand he finally bolted...into the living room with Allie. I noticed both of them sitting and touching (that never happens) and staring at me from the doorway. That's ok, at least they are out of the way of Laker play!! Finally back to relaxing and I took the next bite. Suddenly Jagger shot from a sitting position like he was in the LGRA box and I thought he was just terrorizing one of the cats. That's cool, at least he's not in my hair! He was gone for a few minutes and came back and sat near my feet again. This time he was chewing on something....a Cat Crunchy......(nice fresh feline turd wrapped in litter) Well, THAT got me out of my chair and after his nappy little butt! He grabbed his turd and SHOOOOMM!!! Took off, nails scraping at 10,000 rpm on the wood floor. Now, in order to leave my chair in such a rush, I had to throw my Taco Bell goodies in the chair while I went after Jagger, like Homer Simpson after Bart, to wrestle that infernal turd away from him. Allie..The love of my life. I forgot all about her. She had been sitting in the other room watching all of this, I guess, and shot behind me over to my chair, and FOOOOM!!!! She GRABBED MY BURRITO!!!!!! Paper and all she scurried away, wild eyed with her prize as I glanced over my shoulder, realizing what she had done!! I gave up the Jagger pursuit and took off after her to try and rescue my now well-traveled and soon to be devoured fold-over!! Jagger. When I made my about-face to go after Allie, I heard the tell-tale "CLICK, CLICK, CLICK, CLICK”...OF.........TOENAILS!!!!! Like Carl Lewis out of the blocks, that little S#%^ ran behind me the other way while I was chasing Allie and grabbed my remaining Taco from the chair!!!!! There I stood in the middle of the floor enraged and the only thing remaining on the floor?? Jagger's well used CAT CRUNCHY!!!! Bon Appetit... Remember those old cartoons when something was pulled over on some poor slob and he turned into the giant sucker?? Meet Mr. Sucker......Two little dogs, communication, planning, tool usage, deception and a vision of a human's retaliation to benefit both of them. Anyone have an old Jack Russell Terrier?? I'll make ya a GREAT two-for-one deal!!! Dave "Sucker" Thompson ************************************************************** |
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